I have this dream of being a stay at home mom again. When I was pregnant with Rachel, I was mildly obsessed with the idea and majorly devastated that it couldn't happen before I had to go back to work after maternity leave. Of course that was the start of a fairly significant journey in my life, if you remember, so I've been able to move on past heartbroken and depressed to a bit more positive and focused. I had to focus on what I love about my life, and my job in particular, so I wasn't overwhelmed with negativity everyday at work. What I ultimately realized is that while I would love to be a full time stay at home mom, and would never turn down that opportunity should it arise again, I would also be very happy with a part time situation. I LOVED only working part time when I first started at the library. I only gave that up because I hated working every Saturday and we needed more money. I've loved how my job has allowed me to grow and learn new skills, but I still find myself feeling envious of the people in a couple part time jobs in particular. I dream of being able to work 9-1 Monday through Friday. I wouldn't mind if it was still at the library, but since I still dream of being an archivist, I would prefer if it was in a museum archive. I like the idea of being able to then come home and spend the rest of the day with the kids, doing crafts, errands, playground trips, etc.
I realize how much I long for this lifestyle even more when I have my working weekends. Regular weekends get so jam-packed with chores, errands, and activities. Most people have those days off so we all feel the same rush to accomplish everything we can't during the week on those 2 days. Then we also want to spend some of that time having fun too. And we should! We are all so busy and are burning ourselves out with crazy hectic lives, too many working hours in the week, too long of commutes, too many obligations, and not enough hours in the day/week. We need to have some down time to remember what life is all about (enjoying what time we have on this earth). I usually end up doing what needs to be done and feel like I didn't get enough time to myself and/or with my kids, or it's the other way around, and I start my work-week out feeling unrested and guilty over something. I do recognize this is a ridiculous way to live, and I'm working on that. But that's not what we're talking about today. :)
Today, I realized something. I had to work on Saturday, which always sucks, but it's a fact of my job so I deal with it. Charlie had the kids and had some obligations with friends, so he took them and did what he needed to do. I got home a couple hours before him, got some down time for myself then had some time with them all when they got home. Yesterday, we had plans to go swimming at a friend's house around lunch so Charlie got some errands done in the morning then we had a whole day of fun. I didn't feel rushed or guilty or anything because I knew I had today to get chores and errands done. It was relaxed and amazing. Today, I woke up with the intention of getting stuff done today. I'm not a morning person and usually it takes so major convincing to get myself moving in the morning when all I want to do is sit on the couch reading and drinking coffee. But Ethan wanted to dance, so I got up and danced with him and Rachel (good excuse for exercise!). Then I made us all breakfast and got us ready for the day. And before I could sit down and be lazy, I took us all to the grocery store. Rachel fell asleep on the way home so I let Ethan do sidewalk chalk and ride his scooter up and down for awhile before lunch. Now it's cool-down time and quiet time so we're ready for the afternoon. Charlie should be home early today from work, so I'm going to take that time to get some decluttering projects done. It's amazing how much more you can do on a random day off when most people work. You just know that you can't really be distracted by friends because they're all working! So while it sucks to work on Saturdays, it's also kind of a blessing in disguise! But, in regards to what I was saying above, it also reminds me what it's like to be a stay at home mom. And I'm choosing to let these feelings fuel my desire to work toward that dream rather than depress me and drag me down.
One thing I've learned over the last 6 months is how important self-care is. To me, this all has a lot to do with self-care. Take the time I need to have time for myself, for my family and for the house. Even if it doesn't fit into the American standard of how I'm supposed to live my life. Even if it doesn't fit the old feminist idea that we can have it all, because realistically, we can't! Because by taking enough time for all these things, I won't live with stress, overwhelm and guilt.
In this same vein, I just read a really important, inspiring blog post by the Hands Free Mama. It's amazing how the things you really need in your life fall into your lap at just the right moment.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Week 3
Not much happened this week. Sickness struck us down!
But I was able to get several loads of laundry and dishes done (always an accomplishment right?). I had several small things laying around that needed to be moved (like my shoes all up to the bedroom, a basket of knitting projects up to the craft room, etc.) that I moved to their new homes.
The big accomplishment of the weekend was getting the new mattress for Ethan and finishing up the bunk bed. When we bought it several months ago, one of the boards cracked. It was sound enough to keep using but we replaced the board from Ikea but never actually swapped them out. We also didn't finish putting the slats for the bottom bunk in because we didn't want the kids to jump on them and break them before we got the new mattress. A friend and coworker decided to get rid of a twin bed recently and was kind enough to let us have just the mattress. It's a newer, thicker one that Ethan currently had so we put that up on top for him and traded his down to the bottom for Rachel. Now, their bunk bed is finally complete and Rachel is spending her first night in her big girl bed!
This week I'm going to get caught up on laundry, keep my sink empty, even if that means dirty dishes are piled on the counter (Flylady "Sink Reflections" logic there!), and get a load dropped off at the thrift store.
But I was able to get several loads of laundry and dishes done (always an accomplishment right?). I had several small things laying around that needed to be moved (like my shoes all up to the bedroom, a basket of knitting projects up to the craft room, etc.) that I moved to their new homes.
The big accomplishment of the weekend was getting the new mattress for Ethan and finishing up the bunk bed. When we bought it several months ago, one of the boards cracked. It was sound enough to keep using but we replaced the board from Ikea but never actually swapped them out. We also didn't finish putting the slats for the bottom bunk in because we didn't want the kids to jump on them and break them before we got the new mattress. A friend and coworker decided to get rid of a twin bed recently and was kind enough to let us have just the mattress. It's a newer, thicker one that Ethan currently had so we put that up on top for him and traded his down to the bottom for Rachel. Now, their bunk bed is finally complete and Rachel is spending her first night in her big girl bed!
This week I'm going to get caught up on laundry, keep my sink empty, even if that means dirty dishes are piled on the counter (Flylady "Sink Reflections" logic there!), and get a load dropped off at the thrift store.
Week 2
Edit: I wrote this last Sunday. I meant to add pictures before publishing. Then I got lazy. Now it's a week later so I'm just publishing it. :)
It's the start of week 2 so I wanted to post the progress I've made on the decluttering front. Last week after my post, I took a tour of the attic. I knew we had several empty boxes and several half full boxes so I sifted through some to get a better idea as to what's going on up there. I found several I could go through that night so I brought them down and ended up with 1 box of give-away and 4 empty boxes. All the rest either found a home downstairs or was throw out. It felt so good doing something and was a great baby-step way of kicking this party off.
The rest of the week I didn't do much. I found some things here and there and at least sorted them into piles, but I knew I had a 3 day weekend to try to focus more. I didn't realized I wouldn't have as much time for decluttering this weekend as I hoped. Oh well. That's life getting in the way isn't it? :) But, don't despair! A good friend who has offered to help several times was available today so she came over for a few hours to help me tackle the room of doom otherwise known as the extra bedroom/wanna be nursery (Rachel never made it into her nursery so we're skipping that step and going straight to share a room with her brother). This room has always been the convenient dumping place being the spare room so it's constantly in disarray. When we bought the house, it was going to be a combined guest room and craft room but, as is the case for many people, the "spare room" is the storage room while you unpack and that just snowballs into the room of doom.
I always dreamed of having that fully-stocked-but-not-cluttered craft room like so many bloggers share pictures of. Pictures on the wall, an inspiration board, perfectly placed shelves for storing crafting books, projects and other knick knacks, a comfy chair and the perfect desk. But their are several problems with this dream. Buying all that perfect furniture can be expensive, even if you go "cheap". And if you go really cheap, you have to have the time to fix it up how you want it. Also, you need to live somewhere where there are amazing thrift and antique stores. I do not. I live where the thrift stores are full of used Walmart stuff and antique stores cost as much as buying something new. My options for makeshift and vintage-awesome are limited, which is disappointing have living so many places that had good used shopping options. Another problem is when you work hard to stock up but then don't have the time and/or space to work on the projects so you end up with clutter and good intentions. Finally, cleaning that room. If you're like me, your projects spread out and take over the space so you have to clean to keep the room looking pretty. So I still want a craft space, but my dreams have shifted to less fully stocked and more there when I have a project to work on. I want to have a space where my sewing machine can stay out and ready for use. I want to have supplies on hand like knitting needles, measuring tape and scissors. I want a space that's inviting for crafting and creative play. I also want it to be safe enough for the kids to have space in this room with me. Ethan loves painting. How fun would it be to craft together and not have it be at the kitchen table?
I also want to start finishing projects. I have so many things I bought with projects in mind and loved buying the supplies but feel guilty every time I look at it knowing I never even started, much less finished said project. I have made a promise to myself and Charlie that I will finish using what I have before I go out and buy more fabric or yarn. The only caveat to that is, if I need more of the same of what I currently have to finish a project, I will go buy just enough to finish.
But back to the room of doom. We worked for about 3 hours, sorting through to see what's there, rearranging so like items are together, trashing several bags of trash. I have a fairly huge pile of stuff I think might be destined for a new nursery home next weekend, 2 more boxes headed to the thrift store, hundreds of plastic bags headed to the grocery store for recycling, and a good stash of my reuseable bags finally emptied again and ready for use at the grocery store (to avoid any more plastic bags). We have a dresser that we were looking to get rid of as well that I had previously emptied, but I had to refill it with stuff for lack of other storage. Once the nursery stuff is gone though, I can look at setting up the crafting area and start cranking through those projects.
Small projects for this next week include going through piles and piles of clothes to separate out into keep, toss and give away, organize the linen closet and tidied up the kids' room a bit (book overflow!).
It's the start of week 2 so I wanted to post the progress I've made on the decluttering front. Last week after my post, I took a tour of the attic. I knew we had several empty boxes and several half full boxes so I sifted through some to get a better idea as to what's going on up there. I found several I could go through that night so I brought them down and ended up with 1 box of give-away and 4 empty boxes. All the rest either found a home downstairs or was throw out. It felt so good doing something and was a great baby-step way of kicking this party off.
The rest of the week I didn't do much. I found some things here and there and at least sorted them into piles, but I knew I had a 3 day weekend to try to focus more. I didn't realized I wouldn't have as much time for decluttering this weekend as I hoped. Oh well. That's life getting in the way isn't it? :) But, don't despair! A good friend who has offered to help several times was available today so she came over for a few hours to help me tackle the room of doom otherwise known as the extra bedroom/wanna be nursery (Rachel never made it into her nursery so we're skipping that step and going straight to share a room with her brother). This room has always been the convenient dumping place being the spare room so it's constantly in disarray. When we bought the house, it was going to be a combined guest room and craft room but, as is the case for many people, the "spare room" is the storage room while you unpack and that just snowballs into the room of doom.
I always dreamed of having that fully-stocked-but-not-cluttered craft room like so many bloggers share pictures of. Pictures on the wall, an inspiration board, perfectly placed shelves for storing crafting books, projects and other knick knacks, a comfy chair and the perfect desk. But their are several problems with this dream. Buying all that perfect furniture can be expensive, even if you go "cheap". And if you go really cheap, you have to have the time to fix it up how you want it. Also, you need to live somewhere where there are amazing thrift and antique stores. I do not. I live where the thrift stores are full of used Walmart stuff and antique stores cost as much as buying something new. My options for makeshift and vintage-awesome are limited, which is disappointing have living so many places that had good used shopping options. Another problem is when you work hard to stock up but then don't have the time and/or space to work on the projects so you end up with clutter and good intentions. Finally, cleaning that room. If you're like me, your projects spread out and take over the space so you have to clean to keep the room looking pretty. So I still want a craft space, but my dreams have shifted to less fully stocked and more there when I have a project to work on. I want to have a space where my sewing machine can stay out and ready for use. I want to have supplies on hand like knitting needles, measuring tape and scissors. I want a space that's inviting for crafting and creative play. I also want it to be safe enough for the kids to have space in this room with me. Ethan loves painting. How fun would it be to craft together and not have it be at the kitchen table?
I also want to start finishing projects. I have so many things I bought with projects in mind and loved buying the supplies but feel guilty every time I look at it knowing I never even started, much less finished said project. I have made a promise to myself and Charlie that I will finish using what I have before I go out and buy more fabric or yarn. The only caveat to that is, if I need more of the same of what I currently have to finish a project, I will go buy just enough to finish.
But back to the room of doom. We worked for about 3 hours, sorting through to see what's there, rearranging so like items are together, trashing several bags of trash. I have a fairly huge pile of stuff I think might be destined for a new nursery home next weekend, 2 more boxes headed to the thrift store, hundreds of plastic bags headed to the grocery store for recycling, and a good stash of my reuseable bags finally emptied again and ready for use at the grocery store (to avoid any more plastic bags). We have a dresser that we were looking to get rid of as well that I had previously emptied, but I had to refill it with stuff for lack of other storage. Once the nursery stuff is gone though, I can look at setting up the crafting area and start cranking through those projects.
Small projects for this next week include going through piles and piles of clothes to separate out into keep, toss and give away, organize the linen closet and tidied up the kids' room a bit (book overflow!).
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